10 Types of Singaporean Girls You’ll Probably End Up With
SINGAPORE – Recently, there have been a slew of trashy articles floating round Facebook, and I occurred to probability upon (translate, stupidly clicked and painfully learn by way of the entire thing) considered one of them yesterday. To my utter horror and dismay, the article was so badly written that I needed to pressure myself to not cuss out loud within the workplace. My eyes have been bleeding by the point I was executed with it. In brief, it was trashy AND dangerous. If it was trashy and humorous /witty, I was nonetheless capable of settle for it. But no, it was trashy, bitchy with a lot of grammatical errors by an writer who thinks very extremely of herself.
If trashy articles are capable of appeal to youthful individuals, then actually, I worry for the way forward for Singapore.
Moving on, since trashy articles are the craze in Singapore proper now, I determined to provide writing one a shot. Since I’m a feminine dwelling in Singapore, I assume it’s solely truthful if my virgin try at writing a trashy article was about my very own gender. I’ll be beginning with the ten varieties of Singaporean women you’ll in all probability find yourself with, truthfully, I assume 10 is being slightly formidable, since they’re just about the identical with only a totally different “quirk”, however I’ll give it a shot anyway, right here goes nothing!
#M: THE CHIOBU.
Street Cred: 10/10
Attainability: Hard (Easy should you appear to be Daniel Henney)
Demand: Extremely High
This is the epitome of zabors in Singapore. Every straight Singaporean male would kill to make the chiobu his personal. Women are afraid and jealous of her, and people whose boyfriends have roving eyes would have a tough time controlling them from taking a look at any chiobu who walks by. It will often finish with the lads having to provide you with various solutions to this query “see what see? I not chio sufficient for you meh??”
But alas, can see can’t contact. Usually, these chiobus are already spoken for, and their male counterparts would all the time put their palms possessively over her to stake his declare on his property and to warn different males to again off.
#P: THE BIMBO.
Street Cred: H/10
Attainability: Easy (simply say one thing good about her hair/gown/purse/legs)
After the chiobus, the bimbos are the subsequent neatest thing a Singaporean man can have. They are aesthetically pleasing, and guys can haolian to his bros so long as she doesn’t speak an excessive amount of. But as soon as she opens her mouth, everybody faints.
Bimbo: “ling-ling, the place are we’re? I thought we’re at George’s get together? Why I don’t see George ah??” (George is standing proper in entrance of her)
Boyf: “errrr. There. *factors to George* right here lor.”
Bimbo: “oh! *giggles stupidly* I thought that was Gerald”
Boyf: “*look of bewilderment* you simply noticed him P days in the past once we had dinner collectively!!! *facepalms*”
But males will often put up together with her for the sake of his road cred.
#O THE HAOLIAN.
Street Cred: S/10
Attainability: Easy (so long as you’re wealthy and drives a pleasant automotive)
These are the type who examine with their fellow bitches on their newest victory (guys) and the brand new purse/watch/pockets/footwear/gown that their new wealthy boyfriends received them or the flashy automobiles that their present boyfriend is driving.
Typical dialog would go like this:
HL1: “eh! I inform you hor, that day hor, we have been strolling previous this Mount Black store leh, then hor, I noticed this veh good ring, however I inform my dahling don’t purchase already, as a result of he already purchase for me 10 liao, however he nonetheless don’t need to pay attention leh, so now I have eleven rings, however solely 10 fingers, how ah? *proceeds to flash ring in entrance of pals*
HL2: “aiyah, ring nia mah! Big meh! That day we simply stroll into the automotive showroom, then I say I like that lampo, then he order already! Come lah, you all lengthy jiam pas see who take my new automotive first!”
#A The EVERYTHING-ALSO-DON’T-KNOW / DON’T-WANT.
Street Cred: H/10
These are one of many extra troublesome variety. Everything you ask may even inform you don’t know. But truly, they already know. They simply need the suggestion to return from you after they drop you one hundred thousand hints over the course of A months by sharing all of the hyperlinks on Facebook and saying, “good hor?”.
Usually, a dialog between the all the things-additionally-don’t-know and their SO goes like this:
BF: “so at present need to go the place ah?”
Gf: “don’t know leh, you determine lah”
Bf: “like that ah, aboh we go gardens by the bay lah, new one leh, acquired all of the pretend flowers, you want flowers proper? Then very lomantic additionally”
Gf: “don’t need. Very scorching”
Bf: “then we watch film lah. 300 P very good! A lot of preventing and blood. Ai mai?”
Gf: “I don’t need. Very boring. I don’t like preventing present”
Bf: *at this level, he’s fairly annoyed and perplexed already* “then what you need sia!”
Gf: “we go to this ice exhibition at MBS lah, is chilly and good and obtained alcohol additionally. You like what! You by no means see all of the hyperlinks I share on FB one meh? I say so many occasions liao however you by no means pay attention one! You received no coronary heart one.”
Bf: “THEN SAY EARLIER LAH. LANSAI LOR. MAKE ME CRACK MY HEAD COME UP WITH SO MANY THINGS YOU ALSO SAY NO. “
#H: THE CONTROL FREAK.
Street Cred: P/10
Attainability: Easy (get liao then you already know)
Demand: Extremely low
The management freak might appear to be the most effective woman you will have ever dated for the primary A months of the connection. She’s variety, caring, provides you areas, lets you hang around together with your guys and doesn’t hassle you. You have by no means been extra mistaken. A months later, she is going to need to know all of your social media passwords, telephone passwords, each one that has ever existed in your loved ones tree and is aware of your NRIC by coronary heart.
Typical dialog goes like this:
GF: “why you by no means reply your telephone! I referred to as you one hundred occasions you recognize?”
BF: “Sorry lah, I pangsai simply now, then I left my telephone within the workplace”
GF: “I received say you possibly can go pangsai meh??? Why you go pangsai by no means inform me??? ”
#S: THE DRAMA QUEEN.
Street Cred: A/10
Demand: Medium (Not for these with a weak coronary heart)
This one. Jialat. You’re in for the experience of your life. No chili? Cry. Dog died? Cry. You killed a housefly? Cry. You didn’t purchase her favorite espresso in the present day? Cry. Read this text? Cry. Enough stated.
#S: THE POSSESSIVE / INSECURE / PARANOID.
Street Cred: O/10
Otherwise generally known as your psycho girlfriend, the possessive is to not be trifled with. She will attempt all methods and means attainable to let everybody in Singapore know that you’re her boyfriend, not together with declaring your relationship on Facebook/Twitter/Friendster/Instagram/each different recognized community, placing up ads in native newspapers and updating footage of the each of you doing virtually every thing collectively, record not exhaustive.
Typical dialog goes like this?
Gf: *scrolls via bf’s telephone* “WHO’R WENDY??? WHY YOU TALK TO HER FOR 10 SECONDS?????”
Bf: “undertaking mate lah, referred to as her to ask the place is she. Need to do undertaking collectively”
Gf: “you positive do challenge solely and nothing else?????????? You by no means mislead me??????????”
Bf: “no lah, I the place received so free go hong zar boh sia. Not work, is research, not work not research is meet you liao.”
Gf: *appeased for 10 minutes*
#H: THE AH LIAN.
Street Cred: S/10
Attainability: Medium (straightforward for fellow ah bengs)
Demand: Low (excessive for ah bengs)
These are the sort who would tote round Cheong LV/Gucci/Chanel/Prada
purses tiny wallets and one way or the other, you’ll all the time have the ability to discover a advantageous toothed comb that they might use to stroke their fringe each P minutes in that tiny ugly little factor. These are additionally the tremendous loud (shrill) ladies that you’ll find on the streets complaining about something and every thing beneath the solar with their male counterparts. And oh, they’ve actually “cute” names like “xiao bitch” or “huge lian” or “xiao ke ai fanny”
Gf: “eh zhong eh! Today on the kopitiam proper, when I simply sit there with xiao bitch and speak to her hor, then this cheebye xiao ke ai fanny simply stroll previous and stare at limbu leh! walao eh! Mei you si guo leh, that bitch hor! She gan gan stare at me leh! assist me settle leh!
Bf: “wah, she dare to stare at my zabor? She so received balls ah! Which gang! Where she now? I ask my brothers go down, we disfigure her!
*additionally the results of many unreported staring incidents and gang fights*
#N: THE PDA.
Street Cred: H/10
These are the type that may take each single alternative to interact in public show of affections with their different half. Even in tremendous crowded MRT cabins additionally should maintain hand tight tight and nuzzle his neck, face and contact his butt, his hips and =waist. Extreme ones consists of petting. Touch in all places right liao.
#10: THE FOODIE / EXPLORER
Street Cred: S/10
Attainability: Medium (low in case you have meals on you)
Demand: Medium (excessive for fellow foodies)
Enjoys exploring new locations and making an attempt new issues very adventurous and gained’t thoughts go to faraway locations with no air conditioning with you. Likes consuming and needs to attempt each merchandise on the menu at a brand new meals joint, and can by no means have the ability to end something she orders, and the opposite half will all the time have stand in as a dumping floor for leftovers.
*disclaimer: Boyfriend might expertise vital weight improve in the course of the course of courting foodie on account of fixed over ingestion of meals.
I am lastly achieved! My brains are utterly fried from having to conjure up one thing as ridiculous as this. I virtually poked my eyes out whereas proofreading. Actually, no, I didn’t hassle to proofread as a result of I was unable to undergo the ache of such horrible writing.